Learn to love regardless |  observer

Learn to love regardless | observer

Sometimes when you think Uganda has become unbearable, the evening news brings you drama that would make William Shakespeare’s theatrical plots seem amateurish.

Take, for example, the farce that came on the heels of the recent EALA election, in which a former contender with the odd name York became upset about what he saw as vote fraud.

Honorable York was so angry at the way the vote was handled that he literally hijacked the ballot box and ended up punching an innocent police officer who had the unfortunate task of getting it back from him. The allure with which he took the results of this election makes one believe that it was a matter of life and death.

From his reaction, either it was York’s first time participating in a Ugandan election or he is unaccustomed to failure and loss. The funny thing to me is the fact that, according to reports, York started expressing his dissatisfaction with the results long before the votes were counted. Please don’t think I’m naive when I say it, because I know how that could be, but the irony is also not lost on me.

Nor do I want to condone as I condone electoral misconduct because for nearly four decades, I have watched a stolen election plunge the country into chaos. What I am saying is that there is nothing that should make one lose control of one’s emotions to descend to these levels of chaos.

When I watched the disgraced York lose his head, I imagined what he would do if his lover ever made a mistake in their relationship.

The truth is that things happen. Elections are stolen as the affections of loved ones change even if they promise to follow you to the ends of the earth. When this happens, it makes one seem obsessed if he starts running like a headless chicken and actually justifies the offender.

After all, who would want anyone to put up with a relationship with someone so vulnerable that they are at the mercy of their own emotions?

You don’t have to wake up your entire clan because you snooped on your partner’s phone at 3 AM and found the damn info you were looking for.

First of all, if you feel so insecure about someone that you feel the best way to have a relationship with them is to spy on them, you shouldn’t be in that relationship because it’s clearly driving you crazy.

Second, understand that human beings are fickle and easy to be blown by the winds of change; This should help you understand that the only person you can be fully aware of is you.

Relationship experts say that the best way to teach our partners, colleagues, or friends is to reverse the way we would like to be treated. For example, if you expect honesty in a relationship, make an effort to show your partner what honesty looks like. If you want your partner to be more generous with you and then show him generosity perhaps over time he will learn how to reciprocate or he won’t.

No matter what happens, learn to love them regardless; This is the best type of reflection. And the most effective way to learn to love another flawed human being is to learn to control your emotions.

Also, remember that no one should have the upper hand in a relationship. This is an unhealthy and abusive dynamic that can become insecure very quickly.

A relationship isn’t a competition, it’s about sharing your life with someone else. There should be respect on both sides and an understanding that both of you have value, and both of you should be open to listening and changing.