Whitey Harwood’s From the Wood Shed: Country Music is Here to Stay
Published at 12:00 AM Sunday October 9, 2022
In the past two weeks, I’ve read three stories from Salisbury that caught my interest. Two from The Post and one from the magazine.
From the post: “Library Notes” (September 25) and “After Reaching the Library, Squirrel Needs Rescue” (September 27).
From Magazine: On Air (October).
Library Notes first. David Lamano writes, “Public libraries have three main functions: to inform, to educate, and to entertain.” Let’s talk about the fun part. Well, David, “Where’s the entertainment for 17+ year olds when it comes to movie choices?”
I’d like to share with you David and the rest of the RPL staff, the squirrel story was very entertaining. I imagine it is very expensive.
Now, in an article on “On the Air” on page 34 it reads, “Initially, he (David Whisenant) had to learn to love country music.” Just for a moment I felt like Aaron Church, why, because reading made my heart happy. But, on page 37, the story states that “his headphones broadcast psychedelic rock.” And suddenly it felt like Merle Haggard did it in 1978 when he sang “I’m Always On A Mountain When I Fall.”
Here are some country songs I picked for David Whisenant to enjoy. Employees at the ROCO Public Library can dedicate to the “Save the Squirrel” program.
From the 1950s – “In Prison Now” Webb Pierce. “I’m moving,” Hank Snow.
From the 1960s – “Please Help Me, I’m Falling,” Hank Lucklin. “Waiting in Line for Your Well-Being,” Buck Owens.
From the ’70s – “Don’t Keep Me Hanging”, Sonny James. “It is only a matter of time,” also by Sonny James.
From the ’80s – “Lookin’ for Love” by Johnny Lee. “Have mercy,” the judges said.
Here more. “The Race is On”, George Jones. Patsy Klein “I’m Falling To Pieces”. “Let’s fall together,” George Strait.
wait! It’s 10:45 a.m. Wednesday, October 4th, and you just got the call! My cousin Kai has just called to tell me Loretta Lynn has come home. Let’s do two more songs in Loretta’s memory. “You Want To Give Me A Boost” is from 1970 and “I Want to Be Free” is from 1971. Thank you, Loretta. You have always been my favourite.
Now to the squirrel story and some questions. Where were Don and Greg? Someone told me that they saw two men that day (Mon) walking like politicians, guarding the park grounds from balloon droppings. They said one of them was wearing loafers. Another person said they heard two men talking like politicians maneuvering around boxes, crates and carts at the Dollar General. I thought they were looking for Halloween candy and that the heavy-skinned person couldn’t go through the aisles, but the short just blended in because he could.
Where were the preachers that day? One said they were all too busy sending emails and texts to choir members and organists about Wednesday’s specials and “didn’t have the time”.
Why didn’t the rope trick work? Someone said Aaron Church had finally loosened Bob Pendergrass’ hands, and the rope was probably very old and rotten, so when the squirrel tried to climb it, the rope broke.
What is a woodworking saw?
I called the Tool Man for this. He said it was actually a hole saw and not a woodworking saw.
I asked him, “Do you say ‘whole saw’ like whole wheat?
He said, “No, it’s a hole, a hole.”
“Oh, I said, like a corn pit?”
He said, “Are you trying to be funny?”
I told him, “No, Corn-hole is one of those games that people play.”
He said, “I know what a cornhole is and now they do it in many different churches.”
Another paper reader I spoke to said he wanted to think the chipmunk was there trying to find an R movie.
No matter what the reason is, it’s time to pay the violinist. Well, there’s one final tune for today. “Reviving the Mississippi Squirrel” by Ray Stevens. “This squirrel went berserk in the First Good Church.” Chipmunk Melissa goes berserk for Bob Pendergrass and Aaron’s Church.
Why did the chipmunk Rocco bury the fish can? Because the backspelling of tuna is A Nut.
Whitey Harwood lives in Rowan County.